I’ve been on hiatus from my blog even though writing has always been my therapy to get through things like the hurdles I’ve faced in the last 6 months of my life.
And honestly, I’ve been on that hiatus because I feel like completely being honest about what’s going on in my life makes me sound like a failure. I know I’m not really a failure. And my performance and awesomeness as a person did not cause my current situation, but in the down moments it is hard to not think that. It’s hard not to think that every time I get another rejection email or phone call. It’s hard not to be negative at times.
I suppose I should back up some. Back in September my job was cut to part-time because of budget restraints. I had to stick it out because I was having surgery done in October, but told my boss right then and there that it wouldn’t work for me to be part-time long-term. I started applying for new jobs immediately though because sometimes the process takes forever.
Job searching was finally starting to bring me some interviews in late November, when I learned that my job was completely cut for 2014. Well unfortunately none of those interviews turned into an offer. I continued applying until the last week in December where I had to turn my focus to packing up my bedroom. I made the decision to take a “mini vacation” to my parents’ house in Pierre rather than put myself in debt by continuing to live in Sioux Falls or moving to Minneapolis without a gig cemented.
Well here I am January 14th 4 months after the job search started and I’m still searching. The mini vacation to Pierre has allowed me to focus solely on job searching and rehabbing my hip. However it means spending more than a week at my parents’ house for the first time in over 5 years. And obviously my situation can cause me to be quite moody at times which isn’t easy for them or me to deal with.
I have my moments when I’m so positive and thankful that these unfortunate hurdles allowed me to escape a place I really wasn’t happy working anymore. I mean really this was a blessing in disguise in a way. Not on the checkbook, but easy way to pursue a job that fits my passions and I can turn into a career. I don’t have to secretly apply.
And really you have to find the positive in the negative. I mean that is where the name of my blog comes from. My life mantra, tattoo, and blog all share lyrics from my favorite Garth Brooks’ song ‘Learning to Live Again.’ I’ve always taken that song to mean to smile your best smile and laugh like it’s going out of style and make the best of whatever you do have in life.
But I also have the breakdown moments. I have breakdowns out of nowhere. The littlest thing can push me over. And I seem like the most irrational person ever when I have one of those breakdowns. I know that.
I was raised to be so independent and strong. And now I’m having to lean on so many people due to circumstances that I didn’t deserve. And having a Master of Arts degree and yet having to file for unemployment and entering month 5 of the job search are hard to deal with at times.
But I know the only way out is to keep chugging along. So chugging along I go.
I have a place to live in the Twin Cities already so if the hip is holding up I will be moving by the end of the month and finding something through a temp agency if I have to.
Speaking of which, feel free to check out my LinkedIn profile here!